Patrick

3 years questions

1. What activities and experiences that you and your child engage in might be promoting healthy behavioral practices and an interest in physical activity?

I bring Patrick to the park, so he gets out of the house. However, Patrick is generally a quiet and calm child, and prefers indoor activities. Keeping the goodness of fit model in mind, I’ve tried to find activities that suit this nature while still attempting to persuade him to become involved in other activities. I also play some rough-and-tumble games with him, to toughen him up a bit. I also encourage him to play mini-basketball, catch, and soccer, so as to develop his motor skills. Patrick’s gross motor skills are within the average range for a child his age.

2. Describe development of your child’s language and cognitive skills and discuss how these might be affecting his or her interactions with you & your responses.

Patrick showed some regressive behavior when his little sister was born, but for the most part seems to be developing naturally. Patrick has not shown much of an affinity for music, so I don’t try to push it on him, although I do sing with him when he shows an interest. Patrick’s language skills have progressed very well, and he is communicating in complete sentences (with only the occasional error in tenses or more complicated features of language.) I attempt to provide him as much stimulation as possible, taking him on many outings as well as providing him with learning games on the computer for English and Math. Patrick has also shown much progression in his imaginary play, and likes to act out stories with his toys (which often include amusing tidbits of dialogue that he’s borrowed from my partner and me!) Patrick enjoys telling stories and often does, however he occasionally leaves out some key details about which I have to remind him. Patrick occasionally lies, which I try to respond to by pointing out that lying can hurt people’s feelings and rationalizing with him about why he shouldn’t lie. Generally I try to act encouragingly towards him, and provide him a good amount of stimulation to help him develop his language and cognitive skills. Because he is lagging slightly behind in some areas, I try to focus on developing these while still encouraging him to pursue his strengths.

3. How well is your child adapting to social situations in the home and outside the home? Does your child have any behavior or emotional problems at this point? Why do you think these problems are occurring and what are you doing about them?

Patrick has begun to be less compliant and more independent at home, but he is adapting fairly well to his pre-school and is getting better at playing with other kids. The addition of a younger sister to our family gave Patrick a chance to fulfill a new role- that of older brother- at which he has done admirably. In the home, my partner and I have been fighting, which has upset Patrick at some points. Patrick occasionally has outbursts of emotion, which I respond to by giving him until a count of five to calm down- if he doesn’t, then he goes in time out. I try to avoid such situations by explaining to him ahead of time what I expect from him, and rewarding him for following my instructions. Overall, I would say he is adapting very well to social situations both inside and outside the home. I have not witnessed any serious behavioral or emotional problems. After time, Patrick became less aggressive and complied well with rules at home, I think due to the gentle but firm parenting style I adopted with him.

4 years ten months questions

1. How would you characterize your parenting style? How have your specific parenting techniques changed since infancy? In what ways do you think your parenting style, or any other aspect of your parenting, has been influenced by your cultural background or other experiences?

I would say that my parenting style has remained pretty consistent since infancy. However, I do notice myself trying to push my child towards a broader experience- as in, I think as he gets older, I try to expose him to as many things as possible, while still remembering the whole goodness-of-fit concept. I think that’s my main concern, actually- paying attention to him, responding to him, while still giving him as broad of a perspective of things as I can. As for how this has been affected by my own cultural background, it is fairly consistent with some parts of how I was raised- I would say it most resembles the style my grandparents took with me when I lived with them. My mom was much more permissive, which I appreciated, but I would like to offer my own child a bit more guidance and direction than I received.

2. Describe two specific examples of changes in your child’s behavior at age 4 that seem to stem from growth in cognitive and language ability since the period of infancy (e.g., improvements in symbolic thinking, reasoning, knowledge of the world, theory of mind).

Patrick has begun to ask a lot more questions, which I think is due primarily to his being better able to grasp abstract concepts because of the growth in cognition and language. He is always asking, “Why?” which I generally try to answer, but I also respond to him with questions sometimes in an attempt to further stimulate his development. In language, Patrick has become very interested in books and reading in general, something that I think is partially due to the educational television he has been watching- he knows all the letters, and the sounds that they make, and often wants to read or be read to.

3. How would you characterize your child’s personality? Would you say that your child is primarily overcontrolled, undercontrolled or resilient? Support your argument.

I think I’ve managed to provide Patrick with a good balance of control and independence, and that as a result he has developed a good amount of resiliency. His personality is pretty agreeable most times- he is pretty good at controlling his emotions for the most part, and is good at following instructions at the house. He is eager to please, and has been handling new situations well. He has adapted well to school, with only some minor behavioral problems- for example, he sometimes has to be reminded not to talk to his friends during “Rug time.” However, I have not had any significant problems with him in any behavioral aspects.

6 years, 11 months

1. How well is your child adapting to social situations in the home and outside the home? Does your child have any behavior or emotional problems at this point? Why do you think these problems are occurring and what are you doing about them?

Patrick tends to socialize with boys his age, more than girls, although I try to get him to play with other kids in the neighborhood regardless of gender. This is fairly normal for a child his age. He has had some difficulty focusing at school, which I think is partly due to the recent separation of me and my partner. He continues to be well-behaved, however, so I don’t think he is acting out. He has become a sort of quiet leader among his group of friends- I think he is a little shy, but he seems very well-liked by his friends. On his report card, his teacher had nothing but good things to say about his behavior, and I really haven’t noticed any alarming behavior. Overall, he’s a very well-behaved, respectful, intelligent kid.

2. Do you notice any improvements in cognitive and language skills since age 4? Give specific examples. Does your child have any special needs with regard to cognitive or language development at this point and what do you plan to do?

Patrick has improved significantly in grammar and vocabulary, and I’ve been working with him to improve even further upon this strength of his. His memory is improving, and he continues to be an active storyteller (although he still sometimes confuses details and order.) He is improving by leaps and bounds with his reading, handling books that are several grade levels ahead of his own. He does need special instruction with math and science, subjects that he doesn’t seem very interested in and performs poorly at, so I try to focus on these in order to catch him up.

3. Which aspects of your child’s behavior and personality reflect continuities from earlier behavior (e.g., at ages 3-4 years) and which seem to be novel for this age level?

Patrick has continued to improve with routines and behavior, and is now very well behaved. This is a continuation of and improvement on his earlier behavior. He also has problems sleeping at times, and tends to have bad dreams (something he experienced at a younger age, also.) He is having difficulty focusing on his schoolwork, although he is well-behaved- I think this might be due in part to the recent separation of me and my partner. He also continues to be less independent than other kids his age- another continuation of his earlier behavior. One new behavior that has started at this age is cheating at games! I’ve caught him several times, and try to use each occasion as an opportunity to teach him a bit more about morality.

8 years, 11 months

1. How smart is your child, and in what areas? Think back to the blurb on multiple intelligences that appeared at age 6. Find specific evidence regarding your child's verbal, logical-mathematical, spatial, musical and bodily-kinesthetic intelligence from your observations of your own child as well as the psychologist's report at age 8 years, 11 months.

Verbal: Patrick continues to do well in language arts, although he doesn’t do much spontaneous writing on his own. He is an excellent reader and really enjoys reading out loud, rarely getting stuck on a word.
Logical-Mathematical: Patrick struggles a lot with math, and has since a young age. The psychologist report said that his results were consistent with a learning disability in math, but that we should get more testing done.
Spatial: Patrick doesn’t enjoy drawing or constructing things for school, and tends to get lost in areas. The psychologist report said his ability in this area was also consistent with a learning disability.
Musical: Patrick doesn’t have much musical talent. His voice is off-key and he doesn’t show interest in playing any instruments.
Bodily-kinesthetic: Patrick is not particularly good at sports, but enjoys playing them. His ability in this area is only average.

2. Describe some examples of your child's behavior or thinking that you think are due to typical American gender role socialization and explain why you think so. Several examples can be found at ages 6 and 8. How closely does your attitude toward gender roles correspond to typical American attitudes, and if there is a discrepancy, to what do you attribute this (e.g., cultural background, attitudes of your own parents, etc.)?

Patrick tends to play with mostly boys, although he does have his younger sister to play with and enjoys being around her. He seems to be less rigid than other children in regards to gender roles, something that I’ve repeatedly tried to instill in him. He and his friends spend most of their time playing sports or roughhousing, fairly typical behavior. He has also been playing on soccer and baseball teams since a young age, and seems to enjoy these activities. My personal attitude towards gender roles tends towards the liberal side of the spectrum- I believe everyone should be given equal opportunity- and this I think was largely shaped by the fact that I was primarily raised by my mother, due to the fact that my father died when I was young. Because of this I think I have a tendency to be more willing to accept women in atypical gender roles, and tend not to be as rigid with my definitions of what constitutes a male role.

3. How might your child's development have been different if s/he was raised by people with a different socioeconomic, ethnic or cultural background? Base your answer on specific evidence of SES/cultural differences from the textbook and class lectures.

Although Patrick has demonstrated some qualities associated with a learning disability- particularly being behind in logical-mathematical intelligence and some spatial tasks- this would undoubtedly be even more pronounced if he had not been in school, a direct result of his culture. (232.) Then again, in some aspects of spatial learning (such as memory cues) he might be more advanced if he had grown up in a different culture (236.) One big aspect- physical punishment- has definitely been shaped by my own cultural and ethnic background. I very rarely was physically punished as a child (although not never) but, based on what I’ve learned from society, I chose not to use physical punishment with him. If I had felt differently, he might have turned out quite differently- perhaps he would be more aggressive, or he might have developed other social problems resulting from that behavior (207.)

10 years, 11 months

1. Describe changes in your child’s academic skills between ages 6 and 10 and assess how well these skills are developing. The 5th grade report card will be useful for this but you should also incorporate your own observations. What are you doing to help your child?

Patrick has been pretty consistent in academic skills since age 6, displaying strength in reading, writing and verbal abilities while generally lagging behind in math, art and spatial abilities. This is despite the fact that I have placed extra emphasis on math, enrolling him in tutoring and ensuring that he gets the attention that he needs.

2. How well is your child adapting to social situations in the home and outside the home? Does your child have any behavior or emotional problems at this point? Why do you think these problems are occurring and what are you doing about them?

Patrick is generally very well-behaved, although sometimes he gets upset in stressful situations. With a little attention, his mood usually improves before the end of the day. He is popular with children his own age, does not exhibit much aggressive behavior, and gets along well with just about everyone. Patrick does seem to exhibit quite a bit of anxiety, which isn’t entirely unexpected as I’m a highly anxious person myself- he even got a small ulcer, although the doctor attributed this to an infection rather than stress (I have my doubts.)

3. Has your parenting changed since the preschool period and if so, why do you think it has changed and what effect might this have on your child? Refer to your textbook or lecture notes for evidence on typical changes in parenting that occur in middle childhood.

As Patrick has gotten older, I’ve slowly given him more opportunities to participate in decision making processes, and allowed him more independence- typical changes in the parent-child relationship (268.) For example, I’ve given him more opportunities to earn money- at his request- when he decided he wanted to save up for a new mountain bike over the Summer. This has been a pretty easy transition, probably due in part to the fact that I established a warm, authoritative relationship with him when he was younger (268.) One thing that I’ve had to pay particular attention to is his interactions with his sister- as they’ve both grown older, they’ve become more competitive, showing signs of sibling rivalry, and I’ve had to settle these arguments as they arise- something I didn’t really have to do much when he was younger (269.)

12 years, 11 months

1. Describe any physical or behavioral signs of incipient puberty.

Patrick is starting to notice girls, although he hasn’t made any comment on it thus far. He is also becoming moodier and slightly rebellious, particularly towards his mother. His sense of morality has also developed, and he has become more interested in current events. He is becoming more independent and developing his sense of identity.

2. How would you characterize your child at this point in terms of the under-controlled, over-controlled or resilient categories? Have there been any changes since the preschool period and why might they have occurred?

Patrick is beginning to show a bit more rebelliousness, but I think that is a result of incipient puberty and not necessarily representative of his state of control. He still seems very resilient, and I think he has a good amount of control. He rarely exhibits aggressive behavior, is well-liked by his friends, well-behaved in school, and generally respectful. I think as he progresses, and puberty ensues, his self-control will become more difficult to maintain, but because he has developed a good sense of resiliency I think he’ll be alright.

3. Using the 7th grade report card and your own observations, summarize your child’s academic skills at this point. What specific activities might promote some of these skills?

Patrick is good at language and social studies, but weak in math and science. This has been consistent since he was young. He is good at focusing his attention and with time management, but has a lot of difficulty with math and science. I’ve promoted reading and writing since a young age, and he has shown an affinity for these and interest in them, and I encourage that with reading and reading programs on the computer. I also encourage his writing talent by modeling behavior for him, sharing with him my journal and letter writing. However, unlike in past years, he has begun to act bored or angry when I try to help him, and doesn’t seem to be excelling in his strong points as he did in the past. He has become more average all around. I’ve tried to motivate him to get better grades by paying him for good grades (and telling him he can use the money for video games!)

15 year questions

1. What activities and experiences at age 12 and 14 years has your teen been involved in that might promote healthy behavioral practices, physical fitness and skill in sports?

Patrick has been playing baseball since he was young, and he seems to like it more and more as he gets older. He made his high school team, so he seems to be taking it ever more seriously. This has definitely contributed to his physical fitness and well-being, and his skill in sports has developed a lot since he was young (he wasn’t particularly good at sports as a child, and when he was young his motor skills lagged a bit behind the normal curve.)

2. Have there been any changes in your teen’s behavior toward you or your partner? Why are these occurring and how are you responding?

Patrick has begun to argue more often, and about more things. He also sometimes gets angry or rebellious, although it generally seems to be related to some trouble that he is having at school. I try to relate to him by sharing stories from my own years as a teenager, engaging him in conversations, sharing ideas with him and listening to his problems to see if I can offer some useful advice. He has also become less cooperative, which I would consider normal for a boy his age. I try to respond to this by reminding him of rules and guidelines, discussing morality and rules with him, and treating him more like an adult, respecting his space and decisions.

3. Do you see any examples of how cognitive and physical changes in early adolescence (ages 12-14) relate to your teen's social or emotional behavior?

Patrick appears to be experiencing the psychological conflict of identity versus role confusion, but seems to be handling it reasonably well because he has a good base from which to establish his own identity (314.) He has a good sense of autonomy and initiative, although he seems to be having trouble finding motivation to focus on his school work and his grades are slipping as a result. He appears to be in the stage of identity moratorium (316) and I’ve attempted to help him in this time by providing him examples of different beliefs and different people. His moral development seems to be progressing well- I had an opportunity to present him with a variant of the Heinz dilemma and he was able to respond logically, on a level that seemed consistent with the postconventional level, stage 5 (321.) However, his behavior hasn’t been completely consistent with this- for example, on Halloween he seemed to be going out to cause some mayhem with friends, having dressed all in black with a ski mask and having purchased a carton of eggs and some shaving cream (although this could have been a coincidence… yet, that seems unlikely.) He has definitely been searching for his own identity though, which is evident in his actively seeking conversations with people whose beliefs differ from his own.

16 years, 11 months

1. Think about your teen’s cognitive strengths and weaknesses and how they are reflected in his or her school grades and activities from 14-16 years of age. What careers or courses of study might be best suited to your teen’s abilities and interests?

Patrick has had some difficulty in school, often relating to time management or motivational problems. When he did poorly on the PSAT he became very discouraged. I’ve tried to address his issues with time management by imparting some of my own knowledge on him, discussing what he can do differently and stressing the importance of personal responsibility. He does well in English, although not as well as he could do- despite the fact that he performed very well in reading and writing when he was younger, his highest grade in English has been a B and his teachers always seem to believe he could do better if he tried a little harder. His grades in math are sufficient, although not impressive- but this is about what I would expect, as math has always been a difficult subject for him. He also tends to do poorly in fine arts, which is what I would expect based on how he has performed in the past. His greatest strengths are in social interaction and reasoning, as he seems to do very well with these, and his best subject in school is English. Based on his talents, I think he would do very well in a social occupation- counseling, social work or teaching- or in an artistic occupation- something in which he could use his natural talent at writing (although probably not a musical or visual art career!) (359)

2. How important have your teen’s relationships with peers been to his/her social development, emotional well-being and school achievement from 14-16 years of age?

Patrick is a very socially-oriented teen. He reacts strongly to situations involving his peers, particularly his friends. For example, for a while he was getting picked on by a bully, and this caused him a great deal of distress. I think his relationships with peers has caused some of the problems that he’s had in school, however- he spends a lot of time hanging out with his friends, and time management is one of his biggest impediments to success in his classes. His friends don’t seem to offer him much incentive to do better in class- rather, they seem to interfere with him performing better in school. However, they are definitely important to his social development and emotional well-being. He seems to be very adept at social situations, although not without some snags- for example, he got into a fight with another kid over his girlfriend at the time, and ended up with a black eye and a bloody nose. However, within a few days they seemed to have worked out their problems and apologized to each other.

3. How has your teen adjusted at 14-16 years of age to typical adolescent issues such as risk-taking, drugs, alcohol, and sexual interests, and how have you responded to your teen?

Patrick is very responsible when it comes to driving, although he did have one minor accident backing out of a parking spot he seems to be a cautious driver overall. He expressed very strong emotions for the girl that he had been dating, and I took the opportunity to discuss sex with him and mention contraceptives if he decided not to wait. He smelled of marijuana one night after coming home from a party, but denied that he had tried it. Another night, at a different party, he had definitely been drinking, and I could smell the booze on his breath- however, the important thing was that he was responsible about it and called me to come pick him up, rather than attempting to drive himself. Based on these examples, I would say he is very responsible in regards to risk-taking, and has made good decisions overall.

18 years, 1 month

1. As the program ends, what pathways does your child appear to be on in terms of physical, cognitive, social, emotional and moral development? To what extent could you have predicted these pathways based on what you knew of your child's earlier development?

Physical: Patrick has generally made good decisions regarding his health, primarily evidenced in his commitment to playing sports. The fact that he stuck with baseball all the way through high school, and seemed to enjoy it thoroughly, leads me to believe that he will keep up an active lifestyle as he moves on into adulthood. I wouldn’t have predicted that he would do as well in sports as he did- when he was young, he showed little interest in physical activity and I worried that he would not maintain an active lifestyle. However, I think because he enjoyed the social aspects of team sports so much, he eventually developed a greater interest in sports and physical activity.
Cognitive: Although Patrick is disenchanted by school, he has still made a great amount of progress in his cognitive abilities. I think it will take him some time to decide exactly what it is he wants to do, but I think some time off of school might be good for him. He took a psychology class his senior year, and enjoyed it immensely- I think that would be a good career path for him, if he decides to follow it as it suits a lot of his talents (social and interpersonal skills, service-oriented outlook.) I expected Patrick to do a little better than he did in high school- he was good at paying attention and following rules, but simply had difficulty with a lot of the different areas of school. Math and science were never his strong point, and despite the fact that I tried to focus heavily on these, he still had difficulty in these subjects.
Social: Patrick continued to be popular through his college years, and generally performed very well in most social aspects. He was very agreeable, usually received high “Citizenship” marks from his teachers, and handled social situations very well when they arose. I think he will continue to do well in social aspects. Patrick progressed reasonably well in social aspects as a child, and I tried hard to work on his social skills, so this is about what I would expect based on my parenting style and emphasis on social skills.
Emotional: Patrick seemed to handle his emotions reasonably well, although (much like me) he had some problems with anxiety and sometimes had difficulties in handling stress. If I had tried to predict when he was young how his emotional development would progress, I would have guessed something like this- some anxiety, struggles with depression and stress, because these are all issues that I deal with frequently. He also demonstrated difficulty in controlling his emotions when he was younger, which might have led me to believe that he was going to have more problems than he actually ended up having.
Moral: I believe Patrick developed a very refined sense of morality. At a relatively early age, he was already demonstrating a nuanced understanding of morality (around 14) and appeared to continue actively seeking a better understanding of morality issues. I don’t think I could have done much to predict this from his early behavior, although I could predict it based on the fact that I set out to teach him to have a broad understanding of ideas and issues and this was likely to be reflected in his own outlook.

2. Describe some specific ways in which you think your parenting mattered for your child’s development, based on evidence from the course regarding the contributions of parents to child development.

I think that by taking an authoritative approach, particularly when he was young, I provided Patrick with a good framework for acquiring morals and finding his identity. I also tried hard to respond to Patrick’s interests, while providing him with a very broad experience in the world and different ways of looking at things. More specifically, I believe by doing things like reading to him, and introducing him to sports, I sparked his interest in those things. Furthermore, when he was older, I tried to contribute to interests that he expressed in learning more about other beliefs, systems of morality, and so on, by providing him access to people that could tell him more about these things.

3. Describe some specific ways in which your child developed that appeared to be influenced by factors outside your control, such as genes, random environmental events or the general influence of contemporary middle-class American culture.

Some of the ways in which Patrick seemed to be influence by genetics rather surprised me- for example, he was terrible at music, but I’m an accomplished musician! Then again, the program didn’t offer me a whole lot of opportunities to develop that in him. I was also surprised at Patrick’s poor performance in school, and difficulty with learning- although I did poorly in high school, I always did very well on aptitude tests… it was more a matter of motivation in my case, whereas Patrick performed poorly on most aptitude tests- when he was young, they even suggested that he might have a learning disability. He was also heavily influenced by his environment. For example, being in contemporary middle-class America, it was more likely that he would be interested in playing sports, and not surprising that he was less interested in reading and writing (despite the fact that these are two of my favorite pastimes, and I very rarely play sports and never did when I was in school, K-12.)

Next, here are the two questions for the final self-reflective piece:

1. Are there any issues you had with your parents, your school work, your friends, or your romantic involvements in the last year of high school that continued to be issues for you in college?

Of course. Even though I took several years off after high school before moving on to college, decisions that I made in high school certainly had an effect on what my college experience was like. First of all, the fact that I did very poorly in high school meant that my options for going to college were severely limited. Furthermore, I had to decide whether I really wanted to continue with school, after having been so disillusioned by high school. Finally, I had to learn how to do better in college than I did in high school, so that I could attain the educational goals I had set for myself. My relationships with my friends and family certainly contributed to the fact that it took me a few years to return to college after graduating high school. I think the fact that my mom had a very permissive style of parenting, I was often left to my own devices, and had to figure out for myself how much I valued education, or whether I valued it at all. Perhaps if it had been impressed on me more when I was young just how important education would be to me in accomplishing everything I wanted to do, I would have tried harder in high school.

2. Reflect on your own personality, interests and cognitive abilities at the time you graduated high school. How did these personality characteristics and abilities manifest themselves in subsequent years? How have they changed since your high school days, if at all?

I would say that my personality has changed a great deal since I graduated from high school. It’s become more refined in my particular domain, I would say. In high school I was a devoted anarchist, opposed to all forms of authority, even the idea of government and other traditional social institutions (including school.) I had a much harder time dealing with my emotions than I do now. Depression was a huge problem for me, along with anxiety, anger, and lack of motivation. I’ve learned a lot since I got out of high school. I think now that what was an absolute rejection of tradition has evolved into a questioning of tradition based on everything that I see in the world as being wrong. While I still dislike a lot of things, I feel now that social institutions are not necessarily good or bad- instead, they are just tools, and I can learn how to use them to achieve my goals. Although I still have a lot of negative emotions, I’ve become much more self-assured, more confident and capable of handling those emotions, and that’s helped me a great deal in my life. Where before I was very awkward socially, now I feel much stronger in that aspect as well. I believe that people continue to learn throughout their life, and I feel committed to actively seeking to improve myself and learn more and I feel I’m capable of doing that. I’ve certainly come a long way since graduating from high school.